Overrated. Part 2.

It's high time I delivered part 2 of my list of overrated musicians. Do you agree? do you disagree? I'm all for discussion. If you have anything to say, feel free to do so. But lets stop wasting time and jump right into the list, shall we?

5. Weezer

Awesome.

Derivative and Lame.

Weezer was awesome. Way awesome. The songs on the Blue Album are still among my favorite songs of all time. So what happened? I can't say that they sold out, because their music was commercially geared in the first place. Their music didn't change much, their stuff sounds really similar to the stuff they made back in the mid-90's. So I ask again, what happened?
This,

and people like this

Both things have major issues. Let's start with Weezer front man Rivers Cuomo's appearance.
I'm not one to bash on glorious 'staches, in fact, to have a glorious 'stache is one of my life long ambitions, much to the dismay of my wonderful wife. A glorious 'stache turns an ordinary person into an extraordinary person. Without a glorious 'stache, you're just a regular guy hammering out a living working as a waiter at a rather hokey Mexican restaurant; but with a glorious 'stache, you've been on three African safaris, where all the hunting was done with your bare hands. Do you see the difference? The problem with Mr. Cuomo's 'stache is that it is more of a pretentious 'stache, and not so much a glorious 'stache. He grew it to give himself more appeal to the emo/indie/moron group, instead of growing it for glory. The cowboy hat just makes things worse. I can only think of a few instances where one should actually be wearing a real cowboy hat: 1. If you are an actual cowboy and 2. If your cowboy hat is covered in gold sequins and you are dressed as a gay cowboy for Halloween.

This is me doing right everything Rivers Cuomo does wrong.

Cuomo is neither of these things. He needs to stop trying so hard to make a statement with his fashion and just let the music do it.
Next comes the fans. I hope I don't offend you who consider yourselves Weezer fans, okay, honestly I don't care. You probably look like this kid above, and the only reason you listen to Weezer is to get with the dim college girls that think that they like Weezer because they don't know any better. Find something more useful to do than riding in the passenger seat of a Jetta some girl's dad bought her praying that she touches your leg on the way to the 80's dance. Be honest with yourselves and quit sucking.

4. Bob Dylan

'Nuff said.

3. Linkin Park

Oh man, bro! Linkin Park is soooooo cool, bro! Their music, like, totally blows my mind, bro! Hey, bro, can you hold my iPhone while I readjust my leather bracelet? Thanks bro! Hey, bro, check out some of the fan art I've done of my favorite band in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, BRO!! WHOOOOOOO!
I'll start with my favorite: I love anime, bro! So I figured, why not draw my boys in an anime style? Most hardcore animation style for the MOST HARDCORE BAND EVER, BRO!!!

This next one represents my inner pain and turmoil and I HATE MY PARENTS, BRO!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T LET ME GO TO THE SKATE PARK LAST SATURDAY!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!

I like to imagine sometimes that the best band in the world has super powers, just like Neo in the Matrix, a.k.a. the BEST MOVIE EVER, BRO!!

This is a self portrait. I think I caught my hair perfectly in this picture. My 14-year old girlfriend told me it's the best drawing she's ever seen, bro.

Linkin Park fans are morons and know nothing about music.

2. Billy Joel
Please don't play us another song, Pianoman.

I can't for the life of me understand how this drunkard is more famous than I am. Well, I guess he does have two good songs over a career that spans over 40 years. Plus he ran his car into a house. I don't have the ability to get THAT drunk and stay conscious, so I guess he does have a few things over me.

1. Johnny Cash
Good heavens, that's an unattractive man.

Terrible, terrible, music. Just listen to this crap. He has a voice that makes me wish I was listening to Dylan and his lyrics make Papa Roach seem like Robert Frost. His music causes me to beg as my poor ears receive an audio assault comparable only to the sound cannon in The Incredible Hulk. A fitting first place finish for Johnny Trash as a musical abomination and as the most overrated musician of all time.

4th and 2

Man, I hate the Patriots. Why make that call? It couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Great job, Belichick.

Overrated.

I've actually been thinking about writing something about this for quite some time now, and now that I have this blog that a few people will read for no discernible reason, there's no time like the present.

So now, I present to you:

The Most Overrated Bands/Singers/Musicians of All Time #10-#6

Disclaimer: This is going to be a touchy subject for some of you, I know. It's important that I clarify that I don't necessarily hate these groups, or that they're music sucks, I just simply think that they get more love than they actually deserve. In my research (fancy term for asking Mark who he thought was overrated), names like Nickelback and Creed were placed before me as options for this list. I chose not to include them because those bands are simply terrible, and nobody actually likes them. They don't qualify for the "Overrated" title, but instead fall into the oversized bin labeled "Undoubtedly Crappy Yet Somehow Famous. Thanks a lot, Junior High." Without further ado, let's get this train wreck going.

10. Insane Clown Posse


Now, I know it seems like I'm already violating my Creed and Nickelback rule, and it's only the first entry on my list, but it turns out that the Insane Clown Posse (or ICP, to retarded people) has a legion of rabidly loyal fans, the majority of whom I assume live in trailer parks in mid-western states. Collectively, these hicks are known as the Juggalos (or if you are a 350 lb. teenage girl with an affinity for fishnet stockings: Juggalette) and they have a yearly concert that they have appropriately named "The Gathering of the Juggalos." I don't need to waste your or my time by explaining to you how mind-numbingly retarded the whole concept of Juggalos is or how mind-numbingly retarded it is that there is a band actually named Insane Clown Posse. Bonus retard points for my home state of Utah for actually classifying the Juggalos as a gang entity. So go ahead, take a second look at the picture of these Juggalos, then listen to an Insane Clown Posse song, and you'll know exactly why they sit at #10 on this list.

9. Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, or any other sleepy voiced guy that makes sleepy music


Nicknamed the “Galveston Giant”, Jack Johnson was an American boxer, the best heavyweight of his generation and the first black world heavyweight boxing champion (1908-1915). In a documentary about his life, Ken Burns notes, "For more than thirteen years, Jack Johnson was the most famous and the most notorious African-American on Earth."...
Stop glaring at me, kid with the hemp and sea shell necklace. What's that you're saying? Oh, sorry. I was supposed to talk about the SINGER Jack Johnson. Apparently, a guy who wrote the soundtrack for Curious George is more interesting than a pioneer in African-American athletics and who once was arrested for "transporting women across state lines for immoral purposes."
What was that, Hemp and Sea Shell Boy? You love Jack Johnson because his music is chill and represents your laid back life of playing hacky sack at the beach and surfing? Where were you from again? Orem? Yep.

8. 311

No picture for 311, because the actual sight of this band makes me feel nauseated. Here's a fun little factoid, when I did an image search for 311 logos, a lot of the logos had incorporated flames in them in some way. I don't think I need to say anything more about that.

7. The Beatles


A lot of people are going to hate me for this one; and before you start throwing darts through the picture of me you have hanging on your wall, I refer you to the disclaimer at the beginning of this post. The Beatles are not a bad band. They have an extensive collection of good, catchy songs and The Beatles: Rockband is an awesome game. The issue here is that there are many other bands out there that have simply made better, catchier songs than the Beatles. There are many other bands whose songs have greater emotional impact on the listener. There are many other bands that don't let drugs and crazy hippy Asian women ruin their previously perfect careers. They are overrated because their impact on the industry has been run down and trivialized, with their catalogue of songs only good now for video games and Aerosmith covers.

6. Bob Marley


Here is a picture that hangs on the walls of 75% of the apartments at Brigham Young University. I don't know if you knew this, but the overwhelming majority of BYU students are members of the LDS Church. Now, I am going to include a quote of Marley's: “Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”
He is about half right with that one. As to why BYU students love Bob Marley so much, I cannot explain. Why a group of people who claim to live a strict set of standards would openly support a lifestyle not endorsed by their moral code is beyond me. But I promised myself I wouldn't soapbox, so I'll stop before I get going.
I don't know if you have listened to a Bob Marley song lately, but his music has two distinct qualities shared within the genre of reggae music: 1. His lyrics make no sense, and 2. His songs are nearly indistinguishable one from another. Recipe for success, right? I guess so, because if you judge by that criteria, then Bob Marley is Lady GaGa's musical grandfather. Enjoy having that one on your conscience, Marley fans.

That does it for the first half. I'll get the second half up later so you all can be further educated.

I Give Up

I have a blog. I'm a sellout. Deal with it.