Things I Have Learned (Recently) Pt. 2.

When I first decided to write about things I've learned about (recently), I didn't really have a set number for what I was going to write about. So here are a few more things I've learned...recently.

3. My Wife Keeps On (and Will Keep On) Surprising Me

Marie is a wonderful woman. When we were dating, I was drawn in by how much of an all around good person she is. She loves musicals, loves to hike, and takes care of infants for a living. Because of this I was shocked one day when I was watching Superbad on FX and she comes in the room, sits down, and starts watching it with me. Remember, this was on FX, so the language in this movie was heavily edited, but I was watching it because there's a lot of other things in the movie that make me laugh. She started watching w me during a certain scene, which I'm not going to describe with my words. I'll let this picture do the talking for me:

I happen find this particular situation in the movie to absolutely hysterical. However, with my pure, innocent wife sitting next to me, I sat in silence, expecting to be reprimanded for watching such off-color things. In no way could I expect what happened next...she was laughing. She actually thought it was funny. I was shocked. She even started asking me questions about the plot of the movie like she was genuinely interested. I felt I had walked into the bizarro-world. To add to my surprise, one of her favorite shows these days are re-runs of Curb Your Enthusiasm, she enjoyed Season 1 of Dexter, she thought Pootie Tang was hilarious, and she LOVED Iron Man 2. I don't know whether to be turned on for liking all of this awesome stuff or to feel guilty for soiling her pristine mind with my filth.

4. The Rapid Decline of Our Youth, Though Depressing, Is Only Good for Me in the Long Run

A little while ago I wrote a post about emo kids. Oh how I hate them. But why should I let hate dominate my life? I figured I should look at things in a more positive light. I figured I should try and find good things in a crappy situations. As I make my way to work everyday, I look at things that are happening all around me. Since it is summertime, I notice a lot of teenagers walking around the streets enjoying their break from school. I also notice that most kids look the same. If they don't dress a certain way, then they dress another way, and so forth. Allow me to illustrate.
If you are a teenager, you probably look like this:
And if you don't look like that, then you probably look like this:
If that isn't your style, you perhaps look like this:
And if none of the above apply, you look like this:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your future of America. Sure, these kids look like they come from different backgrounds and situations, but they all have one thing in common: I want to punch each of them in face. I realize that it looks pretty bleak, but there is nothing to fear! Whenever I see these morons, it fills me with a sense of comfort and optimism! Why? Because the wasted potential of these retards will only make my boringly average self look like a genius! So keep doing what you're doing, teenagers. Your self-handicaps will only benefit me in the end. Justice does exist in the universe.

I think I should end this now on a positive note. I always feel pretty good about life after I think about how sad kids are these days. If you read this, you might want to check back on Friday, as I am going to have some pretty big news for you all to see. Stay tuned.